You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
