we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
