yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Randomize
