the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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