I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
