What did we do last night that was yellow?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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