Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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