i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
