Don't you send me to vm
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
