Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
