I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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