Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
