Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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