Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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