My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
