haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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