How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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