I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize