The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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