just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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