I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
