so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
