i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
