guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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