My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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