Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
