Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I touched a dick in church today
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
