did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
