we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
