he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize