i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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