i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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