This is the prime rib incident all over again
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
