he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
