Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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