Too much gin, very little bucket
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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