3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize