Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
