ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
