Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
