I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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