why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
