fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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