so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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