i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
