sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Come share oat with me in your robe
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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