i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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