my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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