come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
