So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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