I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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