I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
