this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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