Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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