Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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