i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
